It shouldn't happen to a DeathEater
by neon-seedling
Summary: Oh dear. This hasn't been one of Griselda Grimworthy's better ideas, as she's beginning to find out. Disappearing venues, vengeful deities and redeemed Malfoys; the troubles go on and on. But the first chairwoman of the Hogwarts Junior Death-Eater league


Disclaimer: Yes, that's right, I am not Jk and have no claim over her characters, plot, etc. However, I fiercely claim Griselda as mine.  
  
Author's note: This chapter is the first of seven, one for each month of the year. They will continue to make some attempt at hilarity and make no apologies for vengeful deities, redeemed Malfoys or gothed-up members of the Weasley family. You have been warned. Enjoy!  
  
It shouldn't happen to a Death-Eater  
  
Chairwoman's plan for:  
  
Eighth meeting of the Hogwarts Junior Death-Eater League Wednesday 22nd September 1994 Venue: Divination Tower Chairwoman: Griselda Grimworth Attendees: Draco Malfoy and associates (S), Myra Ducelle, Lucinda Hellman and associates (R), Amy Marchbanks, Ian Griffiths and Imelda Martin (H, G)  
  
New recruits: None.  
  
Absentees:  
  
B. Zabini, who regrets that nasty accident with a gender-revealing spell has required immediate visit to the hospital wing. M. Brocklehurst, who due to unforeseen consequences after been locked in the dungeons with an amorous Blast-ended Skrewt, feels she cannot yet attend meetings without spouting smoke from embarrassing places.  
  
Meeting Topics to be discussed:  
  
Item One: Venue is highly unsuitable. Must be changed as soon as possible to since divination classroom innately stuffy and pink.  
  
Item Two: Report must be obtained from T. Nott as to the whereabouts of our beloved Lord and Master as we seek his further instructions for us and also desperately need his input to update our master plan for school takeover. Besides, several members have urgent fanmail for him.  
  
Item Three: D. Malfoy must be tackled on the subject of his insistent dalliances with that confounded Weasley girl. Would not normally interfere but we have had several complaints from members that Draco is in constant danger of being redeemed (god forbid!). Must also quiz Malfoy about supposed muggle girls who are encouraging him to continue this questionable relationship.  
  
Item Four: Design Team for new league logo must be sought and found. Logo must on no account be solely green and silver, however stylish, or there will be riots among the non-Slytherin members. An indigo or violet may be diplomatic but despite this remains the problem of image being somehow tasteful. Cannot imagine how to achieve this without offending someone. On a more positive note, I have heard on the grapevine that a certain D. Thomas is v. artistic.  
  
Notes for Chairwoman:  
  
Must draw up list of potential new recruitment officers for league. Necessary Pure bloodedness makes it very hard to find new members but I'm sure there are still some closet Ravenclaws who could be persuaded.  
  
Try to remind Pansy that jade serpent earrings that writhe and spit poison, while undoubtedly creative, are not part of the League's dress code.  
  
Members Notices/Adverts  
  
Calling out to all instrumental players! Keen Slytherin flautist (Grade 7) and violinist (grade 8) hoping to form a jazz quintet to rehearse at weekends. Speak to Noelle Cartwright and Draco Malfoy- or alternatively contact at owl box 345.  
  
Have you seen? - Favourite hat desperately missed by avid quidditch fan. The hat, lost somewhere in the vicinity of Hogsmeade last week, is navy blue with diagonally crossed gold bulrushes protruding from brim. Has a habit of yelling 'Puddlemere United Rocks' and other slogans at awkward intervals. Up to 10 sickles reward if returned to Martin Brant.  
  
Next Month: All members must come prepared to express themselves. In attempt to broaden out we will be hosting a multicultural celebration of the efforts of International Death-Eaters. Members may come in their national costume or dressed as infamous wizard/witch of their choice. As usual, maracas and ceremonial Zulu daggers are optional.  
  
Final note: R&R, Laugh (hopefully), and give me some ideas. 


End file.
